Inactivity
For awhile I have been feeling like I need to share this story. For me? For someone else? I don't know. I just know I need to get it out. I haven't told this story to very many people because there are people in my life who just wouldn't understand this story.
Growing up, I never viewed myself as a 'Molly Mormon'. I never drank or smoked. I attended church. But I never was one to pray, and read my scriptures every day. But I followed the church. Was my testimony strong? I don't know. I know I felt the Spirit, but I never was one to PROCLAIM THE CHURCH IS TRUE! Life went on, I got older and I still attended in the YSA. I had a great time in YSA. Of course I struggled with temptations and trials. But I still went and did what I thought I needed to do.
I moved to Lethbridge and got married to the best person I know. We of course, attended church! My first memories of skipping, go back to when I was pregnant with Carter. I threw up a lot. My sick time was right through our time block at church. Cam and I had a primary calling to teach the 8 year olds. But if I couldnt go, cam could not teach alone as they were dealing with that "no male teachers' at the time. So we would STILL need to find a sub. Very frustrating. I asked to be released.
Skip ahead about 2 years. We had moved all over Alberta by this point. We had found our way into our parents basement and in their ward. To be honest - we hated every minute of it. Being in their house, the ward.. EVERYTHING. (Sorry Queenslanders, dont lose hope - keep reading).
Finally I had, had enough. I was pregnant with Logan and not many people knew I was pregnant. The LAST thing I wanted was to be living in my parents basement 9 months pregnant. So I went on a search to find a place to live. This actually ended up being an amazing blessing for us. (Sadly I didn't blog about this as far as I know, but it is another story for another time). We moved out, Cam got a job. Things were looking up. On my last day in Queensland ward I practically skipped out of the building.
Now before I go on, I actually need to back track. Carter was fine at church. He would sit with me or wander the halls. Like any other parent I did the count down to the 18 month mark of nursery. Finally it came. We thought Carter would LOVE it. Toys every where! Freedom to run! --NOT-- He screamed. To the point where the Nursery leader in QL ward told us we couldn't leave him.
This is when it began. We would go to church every so often. We would wake up Sunday Morning and DREAD church. The screaming and the fits. (This is before we knew Carter was Autistic).
So Anyways, I skipped my way out of QL ward. We moved into a new ward, hopeful that a change of place, and people would settle into nursery. But no. Same things were happening there. By this point I was becoming very pregnant and it was SO EXHAUSTING for me to deal with this. Honestly at this point we had missed a ton of church. Finally Cam and I had decided this is it! Were going to stick it out and do whatever it takes for Carter to go and we are going to go. The first two weeks I stayed in nursery with Carter. He did alright as long as I was there. The third week Cam decided to let me have a break. He told me to go to Sunday school and he would deal with it. I was in class (which was about two doors away from nursery) and I could hear Carter screaming (YES -Screaming) even though the doors were closed. Someone came into my class room and didn't shut the door all of the way so it was like surround sound in the class.
Now to understand what I did here..... maybe you never will. Carter had been doing this EVERY TIME we went to church since he was 18 months. At this point were looking at 6 months of it. I was pregnant and upset.
So yes, the door was left open. Then a woman said "Somebody shut that door I am sick and tired of listening to that kid week after week".
Now just let that sink in......
I got up, and walked out. Told Cam we were going home, and we never went back to that ward..
Fast track again. We hadn't attended church since that happened. I could easily say we were inactive. We used Carter as an excuse. Logan was born at this point and learning how to walk. We knew we had over grown our little basement suite (which I was more the vocal about) and it was time to move. But there was one area that we were not willing to go, and that was back to QL ward. We looked at place after place. Nothing. We called this one listing which was with Calgary Housing. The woman showed it to us, and we had ZERO interest in it. She could tell, so she said she had another place that she thought would suit us. We agreed to view it and she gave us the address the meet her there. To our HORROR, in was in Queensland ward. We still looked at it out of politeness to the woman, and to out utter shock and horror, we KNEW this was the place. We didn't want to move back there and we talked about it until the dead line she gave us. We filled in our application and it was accepted. We were moving back into the ward.
We kind of figured that we would just deal. The main reason for not wanting to go back, was because my parents were in the ward. It was very annoying the first time. But now we think its because we were living with them.
Well, I must say. Following promptings has been the best thing for us. We LOVE having grandpa in our ward. He helps us with the kids so much. The ward has been AMAZING towards Carter. They have gone above and beyond there call to help us with Carter. I remember the first time Cam and I sat together in Sunday school, for the first time in two years. I'll admit I was a little emotional. They have continued to be amazing in helping him transition in primary. I cannot believe the amount of Love EVERYONE shows to us and Carter. We will always be grateful to the Lord leading us back to QL ward. Cam and I have decided that even when we move out of this house, we will be looking to stay in the ward.
I'll admit, it is still a struggle to go to church. Especially when Logan started hating nursery!!!! That was hard. But the Spirit has become so much more prominent in our home, were closer as a family. My testimony is strengthened weekly and I am taking things home from church now. Cam as well. Were seeing all sorts of wonderful things in our lives due to attending church. Wish us luck, we'll need it when #3 comes!!!
So anyways, that is my story. To be honest there are a lot of people I will be blocking from seeing this post. So I hope you enjoyed this read if you're one of the lucky few I let into this very sensitive area of our lives.
Growing up, I never viewed myself as a 'Molly Mormon'. I never drank or smoked. I attended church. But I never was one to pray, and read my scriptures every day. But I followed the church. Was my testimony strong? I don't know. I know I felt the Spirit, but I never was one to PROCLAIM THE CHURCH IS TRUE! Life went on, I got older and I still attended in the YSA. I had a great time in YSA. Of course I struggled with temptations and trials. But I still went and did what I thought I needed to do.
I moved to Lethbridge and got married to the best person I know. We of course, attended church! My first memories of skipping, go back to when I was pregnant with Carter. I threw up a lot. My sick time was right through our time block at church. Cam and I had a primary calling to teach the 8 year olds. But if I couldnt go, cam could not teach alone as they were dealing with that "no male teachers' at the time. So we would STILL need to find a sub. Very frustrating. I asked to be released.
Skip ahead about 2 years. We had moved all over Alberta by this point. We had found our way into our parents basement and in their ward. To be honest - we hated every minute of it. Being in their house, the ward.. EVERYTHING. (Sorry Queenslanders, dont lose hope - keep reading).
Finally I had, had enough. I was pregnant with Logan and not many people knew I was pregnant. The LAST thing I wanted was to be living in my parents basement 9 months pregnant. So I went on a search to find a place to live. This actually ended up being an amazing blessing for us. (Sadly I didn't blog about this as far as I know, but it is another story for another time). We moved out, Cam got a job. Things were looking up. On my last day in Queensland ward I practically skipped out of the building.
Now before I go on, I actually need to back track. Carter was fine at church. He would sit with me or wander the halls. Like any other parent I did the count down to the 18 month mark of nursery. Finally it came. We thought Carter would LOVE it. Toys every where! Freedom to run! --NOT-- He screamed. To the point where the Nursery leader in QL ward told us we couldn't leave him.
This is when it began. We would go to church every so often. We would wake up Sunday Morning and DREAD church. The screaming and the fits. (This is before we knew Carter was Autistic).
So Anyways, I skipped my way out of QL ward. We moved into a new ward, hopeful that a change of place, and people would settle into nursery. But no. Same things were happening there. By this point I was becoming very pregnant and it was SO EXHAUSTING for me to deal with this. Honestly at this point we had missed a ton of church. Finally Cam and I had decided this is it! Were going to stick it out and do whatever it takes for Carter to go and we are going to go. The first two weeks I stayed in nursery with Carter. He did alright as long as I was there. The third week Cam decided to let me have a break. He told me to go to Sunday school and he would deal with it. I was in class (which was about two doors away from nursery) and I could hear Carter screaming (YES -Screaming) even though the doors were closed. Someone came into my class room and didn't shut the door all of the way so it was like surround sound in the class.
Now to understand what I did here..... maybe you never will. Carter had been doing this EVERY TIME we went to church since he was 18 months. At this point were looking at 6 months of it. I was pregnant and upset.
So yes, the door was left open. Then a woman said "Somebody shut that door I am sick and tired of listening to that kid week after week".
Now just let that sink in......
I got up, and walked out. Told Cam we were going home, and we never went back to that ward..
Fast track again. We hadn't attended church since that happened. I could easily say we were inactive. We used Carter as an excuse. Logan was born at this point and learning how to walk. We knew we had over grown our little basement suite (which I was more the vocal about) and it was time to move. But there was one area that we were not willing to go, and that was back to QL ward. We looked at place after place. Nothing. We called this one listing which was with Calgary Housing. The woman showed it to us, and we had ZERO interest in it. She could tell, so she said she had another place that she thought would suit us. We agreed to view it and she gave us the address the meet her there. To our HORROR, in was in Queensland ward. We still looked at it out of politeness to the woman, and to out utter shock and horror, we KNEW this was the place. We didn't want to move back there and we talked about it until the dead line she gave us. We filled in our application and it was accepted. We were moving back into the ward.
We kind of figured that we would just deal. The main reason for not wanting to go back, was because my parents were in the ward. It was very annoying the first time. But now we think its because we were living with them.
Well, I must say. Following promptings has been the best thing for us. We LOVE having grandpa in our ward. He helps us with the kids so much. The ward has been AMAZING towards Carter. They have gone above and beyond there call to help us with Carter. I remember the first time Cam and I sat together in Sunday school, for the first time in two years. I'll admit I was a little emotional. They have continued to be amazing in helping him transition in primary. I cannot believe the amount of Love EVERYONE shows to us and Carter. We will always be grateful to the Lord leading us back to QL ward. Cam and I have decided that even when we move out of this house, we will be looking to stay in the ward.
I'll admit, it is still a struggle to go to church. Especially when Logan started hating nursery!!!! That was hard. But the Spirit has become so much more prominent in our home, were closer as a family. My testimony is strengthened weekly and I am taking things home from church now. Cam as well. Were seeing all sorts of wonderful things in our lives due to attending church. Wish us luck, we'll need it when #3 comes!!!
So anyways, that is my story. To be honest there are a lot of people I will be blocking from seeing this post. So I hope you enjoyed this read if you're one of the lucky few I let into this very sensitive area of our lives.
.JPG)
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