About the last month or so I have been consumed by thoughts of the after life. I grew up being taught that if we got married in the temple, and had kids, we have the ability to be sealed for all time and eternity and we can live together after people in our family die. Not "till death do you part". I honestly haven't had to ever deal with death close hand. Both of my parents are alive, my in-laws and all the siblings. All my extended is in England. So I hate to admit that I haven't felt much when my grandparents died over seas. The first real experience I ever felt something for was when a Manger at the Sobeys I work at passed away suddenly. He went out East to visit family, had a seizure as he was coming out of the shower. Smacked his head on the tub and died instantly. I came into work and I thought I was in trouble because I got called into the office. Thats when they told me. I know I didn't know him very well, but it was my first experience with death.
When I was older, a guy I grew up with died in a car accident.

These last few weeks have been tougher. A friend of mine had a son pass away. Only a couple months older then Logan. They really had a rough go. But what happened to them, changed me forever. I was really feeling down about Carter, and how he has Autism. Sort of going through a why me stage. That little boy changed how I look at Carter and his disabilities. He is the most loving little boy, he is healthy and happy. I show him more love now because he is here, and I can.
I have been thinking of eternal families non stop. Then last night I went to a movie with some girls at work and I got an email from Cams mom. He has an Aunt and Uncle that live down in Utah with their family. Their son Bo, apparently has had health issues for a few years now. No one can figure out what was wrong with him. He was in a lot of pain. Yesterday, he took his life. His family took him off of life support last night.
I don't know why this is affecting me so badly. I never met him. But I am just consumed with thoughts of death. I am trying to deal. But honestly, I have a lot of questions..

Comments

Kristy said…
i know exactly how you feel! it's even worse with children, but going through with having my father-in-law, lee's aunt jan, and his grandma die in those couple months, death consumed my thoughts. especially since those 3 were the ones i was closest too in his family.
June 12, 2011 at 2:14 PM
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